Dave Cooks the Turkey

Have you ever been in a situation where you have no idea what your doing and you time is draining away. Dave from "dave cooks the turkey" by Stuart Maclean finds himself in a predicament where he has to cook a turkey for the Christmas dinner to help out his wife. Stuart uses many different types of comedy. Dave faces situations where many people can relate to. Daves first commical error was making a promise, one of which he would have a hard time keeping. He offered to help and was received the supposedly easy task of cooking a turkey. Dave quickly realizes that "looking after the turkey, meant buying it aswell as putting it in the oven" the task already looking fatal the day before dave sets out on a midnight turkey hunt and returns with a mediocar "grade B" turkey. After he personally thawed the turkey narrowly dodging failure and feeling good that his plan was working. Although as most people have experianced the dream of a perfect plan ends in failure. Dave fails to ask how to set to the oven time to 1:30 and he in all his brilliance devises a bulletproof plan that can help him this time. He hails a cab and goes to "first class hotel" where he hopes they can cook the turkey for him in time. Dave awkwardly embarreses himself infront of his freind jim. Not only does Jim stare at him weird but later on the day he would arrive at his house, where his whole plan would unravel.
From reading this commical story about a man lazily but somewhat unsuccesfully solving his christmas problems only to have them blow up in his face at the end is a situation many can relate to.

expository essay

Sitting quietly awaiting the decision, not to nervous but interested to know the results. The room is silent, some chatter begins amongst the room as the teacher arrives in front of me and I receive the first test results of my life, scoring an average 15/20 on a spelling test. At the moment i was unaware to the long chain of results and disappointments to follow in the steps of maturity in the near future. Soon i would graduate through the minuscule education process of elementry with enough basic knowledge to continue on.

Years later I find myself applying for my first job at the all famous prosperous franchise of Tim Horton's, with ambitions set. I quickly learn one of my first lessons of the real world, rejection. Applying everywhere and receiving no calls. Eventually though, I would find a place to work over the course of the next 3 years. Once again, I did not know the extreme impact on that this would have on my life. With this job i would accumulate a large amount of money stockpiling in a bank account over those 3 years. I would not let the money just standstill in an account, I would go forth and open savings bonds which would be useful in the near future.

I soon found myself in need of buying a vehicle and the money I saved found good use. It was then that I found another lesson of the real world, expenses. I never thought about the many expenses that come with the possession of a car, as i thought that buying the car would be the most expensive. With it came many responsibilities, the fact that you risk the lives of others every time you step into the vehicle as well as your own. The price of gas, winter tires and other general car accessories. These events in my life have taught me a sense of maturity. The ability to juggle an ever growing in difficulty education, maintain a presence in the workforce and balance the many finances in life have proved the maturity in those events

soceity's stupid morals

affirmative
Some may argue that profanity that an increase of profanity is indicative of a decline in society's morals, but have you ever had moments where profanity could have saved you from unleashing something of a much terrible proportion upon the world? The origins of profanity despite popular public belief go back farther than the greeks, which our society is largely based on, who were not an intelligent people but a brilliant peoples. Engineering feats like sailing and mechanics were only some of the things the greeks offered, was their society judged upon by how they spoke and expressed their anger? And truly should we be either? sure profanity may be overly used today but only because people do not know how to use it in the right context as opposed to for no reason. Profanity has become part of everyones society and its not showing any signs of holding us back.

negative.
The use of unnecessary cussing and pointless profanity has lead to stereotypes targeted among youth and is usually linked to violence. The high use of porfanity in today's society can often be linked to acts of violence or aggression where someone relentlessy commits harm verbally and sometimes physically. Profanity also leads to stereo of youths that we are all cuss to a higher extent than other age groups within society. The unfair stereotypes lead others to not trust youths as they are immature and irresponsible.

College Application

I am a compelling individual. Moving through the world quickly and efficiently, hastily and organized, swiftly and systematic. I'm a man for the millenium, digital and smoke free. I emerge victorious without possession of the high ground. I make good endings out of bad beginnings and I know the two sides to every question. When outnumbered 10 to 1 I attack. Ive sailed the seven seas in a rowboat and am one of the wonders of the world. I'm on point, on task, on message and I've won the indy 500 on a 3 legged horse. I can toast toast without a toaster and i don't snooze so i don't lose. I was the first man on the moon and can go super sayan. Which ever way Im facing is north and i can sneeze with my eyes open. I raced light and won. I eat fast food in the slow lane and I'm fluent in all languages. Upon reading all this i know that it is evident that im ready for whatever your post secondary school can throw at me.

Ruthlessly Notorious

No one noticed him standing in the doorway; when he walked in the room fell silent. The had tipped to one side he took slow steps toward the table. The skin on his face was folded and hanging down on his face. Eyes studying the room as a gopher executes upon the surrounding when leaving its hole. Smoke billowed from his mouth in a distasteful threatening manner. The figure of the man was statuesque and towered before the frightened attendants sitting at the table. Light entering the room from the door gave him a silhouette resembling sunrise over a darkened field. Standing tall he knew he had full attention and influence over all; he proceeded with his demands. Concluding his orders, the men at the table affirmatively stated, "sure thing boss!" and began their business. All the while, the man now clouded in darkness and silence sat down quietly and finished his cigarette.

Some Houses are Just Born Bad

e Scared stiff and scared to death, the house was older than dirt but i was in my moment of glory. the sky black as coal and the wind dead as a doornail, i didn't give a damn. I kept my chin up and my fingers crossed, rolled up my sleeves and put my best food forward. It began to rain like cats and dogs and i quickly became a stick in the mud. At this point in time i had arrived at the door. The light was on but nobody was home, the wheel was turning but the hamster was dead. "No pain no gain", "no guts no glory" where the words passing through my mind as i stepped in harms way. In a wink i fell on my face and was out on a limb, time and time again i heard pain and suffering. Needless to say i left in a hurry, better safe than sorry. leaving the house i began to lighten up and mellow out. I was glad i hit the panic button.

Shapeshifting

When a being undergoes a transformation commonly the transformation is purposeful, shifting from the freedom of a bird to the strength of a bear. The power of shapeshifting allows the user to morph into several different beings. Parts of the body will stretch, expand, compress and shift. Shapeshifting not only allows you to become different shapes but also makes your life easier, the ability to fly as appose to walking or driving, diving into the depths of the ocean. Much of folklore and tales derive from the use of shapeshifting, werewolves in the moonlight and vampires into bats, in the movie "Terminator 2", the T-1000 is a shapeshifting robot that can change its body parts into different weapons. I would choose this power as an ease of access for everyday life. Choosing to fly wherever is want, stretch to new heights and set new limits for myself.